Those Who Suffer in Silent Terror at the Hands of a Loved One.

"Up to 70 per cent of women experience physical or sexual violence at some point in their lifetime ”  said Secretary-General of the UN Ban Ki-moon on 25 November 2012.  Many women will experience violence, domestic or otherwise. A much forgotten fact about domestic violence is that domestic violence is not only spouses abusing their wives, but also abusing their children. 25% of all women will be domestically abused. There are over 89 countries where abuse is now illegal, but abuse still happens.Domestic  abuse is a worldwide issue, and it should never happen, or at least be made illegal in all countries. To achieve this goal, we must raise awareness, give donations, and help abuse victims recover.

By raising money by donations we can help people stop the abusers and provide safety for the victims. You can help create safe havens/shelters for fleeing victims of abuse and much more. “One hundred percent of the money raised goes directly to domestic violence shelters and programs across the country that provide support and a safe haven for women and children in harm's way”( End Silence...) The same is true for most organizations dedicated to ending abuse. Furthermore, some of the donations made will go towards providing the resources necessary for starting a new life free of violence. By ensuring that 100% of our donations go towards ending domestic violence and helping the abused, we are ensuring that none of the money we give will in any indirect way reach the abusers, such as into the bank accounts of the abused ( the money goes towards necessities  for their living, not towards their bank accounts) which the abuser may have the codes for. By donating this money to shelters (amongst other things)we are ensuring that victims of abuse will not die of starvation or illness while running from abusers because there will usually be a shelter nearby. Additionally, the donations will go towards helping the victims of domestic violence ‘restart their lives’ after abuse. They will help provide the vital resources needed for life. Many organizations to end domestic violence such as Domestic Violence Project and NCADV  help provide funding, and accept donations of all types (food, clothing etc...) but also for new jobs and houses. By funding victims, we are effectively giving them a way out of their trouble and providing them with a new start because we are providing them with a plan that can keep them sheltered, physically and financially. It gives them a brighter future. This type of donation does not require money, you can do the same just by donating old clothes, toys, or just some non-perishable foods. This will empower the victims, and they will no longer need to fear their abusers. They will no longer feel threatened into giving the abusers money, effectively making sure the abusers are disempowered and poorer, which may be enough to make them kinder in future relationships. Donations of money and other necessary items are always welcome to the poor victims, there are many websites where you can donate money from your account. But donations are not everything; many people do not know what domestic abuse is, or that it happens, and to gain the maximum amount of donations, we must make sure people are aware.

Raising awareness is important so that people know that they all play a part in domestic violence,  and that by being unaware you are making things worse. Unaware people are not neutral in this situation, they can  also hinder the victims progress in finding help.  “...ignorance, indifference and denial continue to create barriers for victims seeking help and thwart efforts to prevent this pervasive and devastating crime.” (PCADV). You may think that you are neutral, but really you are helping the abuser in his trade. In reality, by being unaware, they are effectively letting the abuse happen. A person could be living next door to an abusive household without doing anything, or reporting anything. If they hear shattering china, they might even yell for them to be quiet, which will anger the abuser more effectively making the violence worse. Also, if one of their friends is being abused, and is trying to tell them about it, they might not understand, and may even urge the victim not to go and find help, thinking that they are just overreacting. It is never alright to ignore the fact that people are being abused, because it will affect us all somehow. “...we need to insure that more people know and understand that domestic violence is not a private matter. It is a critical national problem that affects us all -- in every community, in every work place and in every school.”(USDA) Although some people may not see domestic violence as “their problem” it is your problem because there is a 25% chance that you will be abused in your life. Children who have been abused or whose parent has been abused grow up sad and/or depressed, which can lead to excessive alcohol and drug usage, which in turn can lead to anger, and abuse. It is a vicious cycle that must be broken, because even if in your lifetime you are  never abused, your children could be. Domestic abuse is not the problem of the victim and their abuser, but the problem of all of us. To help break the cycle of abuse we must help the victims of abuse recover.

If we help the victims recover, we can help break the vicious cycle of abuse and help victims live a normal life. Victims who have escaped from abusers have usually gone through very traumatic experiences, and these experiences do not just necessarily go away. We must help the victims recover. Many organizations have “confidential safe houses with advocates available 24/7 to help families and individuals rebuild their lives. Shelter services include individual and group counseling, advocacy, law enforcement-based victim assistance, children’s counseling programs, safety education and planning, emergency legal advocacy, and other support services as needed.”(BHcare). Although you may need help after you have escaped, things will definitely be better than they were with your abuser. All of these resources are for helping abuse victims recover from horrible experiences, and most are to made sure that you can live legally without stress. There are lawyers to make sure that the previous abuser has no  legal claim over you, and counselling to help you get over the psychological aspect of the abuse, and group counselling so that you can realize that you are not alone and others have gone through the same thing as you. They have education services for children, and people to help you plan so that you don’t me the same mistakes as before. If we give victims all of this support, they will grow up as educated, financially self-sufficient, normal happy people and they will never abuse anyone, and they will be the prime supporters against domestic abuse, helping us to break the cycle of abuse. Many things can improve after you make the big leap to escape from your abuser. “While you were with your abuser, you may not have been free to decide for yourself what kind of work you did, whether you took on paid employment or not, what leisure activities you engaged in, whether to study for more qualifications or to join an evening class just for pleasure. Now you have only yourself and your children to consider - but you may find it frightening suddenly to be responsible for making your own choices.” (womens aid). Many websites have stories about women who have escaped their abusers, and have been able to start over. When you escape from your abuser, you have a lot of time on your hands, and you can finally go to college, and get a job which will help you because you can get money and support a family. Many victims live perfectly normal lives, and will teach their children that abuse is bad. They will no longer need anything from their abuser, and will have nothing to tie them together. This will also break the vicious cycle, and the victims will never be forced into an abusive relationship again.

In many countries, first world or third, domestic abuse is an issue. Illegal or legal it still happens, and should be stopped, which is something we cannot do without raising awareness, and giving donations, and after they are safe, we must rehabilitate them. Sadly, all of this is simply a plan that must be put into action. Although most of the abuse occurs in undeveloped countries, much of this evidence comes from American organizations, because although there are already laws against it, it still happens there. This proves to us that we are not doing enough. We must find more solutions to prevent this horrible act of cruelty from occurring. The first steps are donations, but we as a people must look out for each other. If you see someone who constantly has injuries from “falling” and “slipping” and is always tired and bears signs of depression, talk to them and support them. We can and must help if we want the issue of domestic abuse resolved.